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lourdes older diary [ 1.23.04-present ]
lourdes' oldest diary {1.02-present}
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april 1o th
i feel like i'm always 1 step behind or 10 steps ahead about to fall off the hill.
shitfuck! i don't care. the student loan people are following me.
they watch me change and they call my family in texas and they threaten to garnish their wages.
no body like me no mo.
the second season of xavier is as good as the first.
didn't think it could be done again but it did got done so good.
i'm addicted to click click clicking and scribbleage.
dip it in gravy
don't say i never gave you nuffin...
i
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april 9th
it's been so long since we've looked in to each others eyes.
I've been hiding... keep getting that greasy feeling you get when you have so much to say that all of a sudden you have no idea how to say it (let a lone type it out)
... and to do all that shit that turns it from a loose thought to an almost coherent sentance.
the pot is boiling, and its about to overflow.
it's too hot to clean, and its going to crust over. better take put that razor, fuck it just leave it.
it's on the outside anyway...
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june 7 2009
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we all heard the unfortunate
news about david carradine.
but really...
what a way to go? it must feel really good if he was willing to die for
it, right?
so more power to him. he went doing what he loved.
at least he was just masturbating and not ending his own life in a fit
of self pity.
remember when owen wilson tried to kill himself?
wouldn't if be kinda fun if instead of trying to kill himself with pills
he was found ,almost dead, by ben stiller in a hotel in bangcock with
his dick and throat tied to the door knob?
anyway.
david carradine doesnt give a fuck what anyone thinks about him or his
wacky sex acts.
in 1989, he was in a great movie called SONNY BOY.
he's married to the guy who played bluto (paul smith) in the robert altman
popeye movie.
AND BRAD DOURIF is in it. he steals a baby!
then david carradine (pearl) raises it as her very own.watch this!
and here he is dancing with chuck norris!
please add my band!
http://www.myspace.com/iamthecocksuckers
you dont have to listen to it
or even put it in ypur top friends, just add me so i have more then 5
friends....
CHRIIIIST!
i love,
u
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4.23. 09
2.pm
regarding inpiration~
inspiration
and slowly it invades me
again.
causing thoughts
of things
what had never previously thought
let alone
considered.
to look at things in different ways
infinte ways to look at all the infinte tiny things?!
shake the human instinct of assumption that
we know enough.
and then shit your mind's pants (or blow your pants' mind)
at the thought of the inifinite things you could do with
even the smallest piece of broken glass.
its easy maybe if i decided to expect nothing. ever.
never ever ever ever. forever and ever and ever.
............here's to trying and succeeding most of the time.
the warm disease of life inside of life.
you want to kill it.
kill it with other diseases.
but you can't kill it.
but it wont kill you.
not this disease anyway....
it will just come back to haunt you when you start to
think that maybe everything really is okay.
and then i remember that none of this really matters, anyway.....
and i mean that in the sweetest of ways.....
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4.23.09
the parts that i never think
about....
i recently had the pleasure of speaking with an acquaintance i had made
over 3 years ago.
a guy who i remember clearly because the first and last time i ever saw
him, he was doing nitrous with 3 british guys in a korea town apartment,
laughing and thrashing on the floor next to a high open window. almost
getting crushed under a rusty old sickle my friend had found and , due
to lack of a tool shed, stored in his studio apartment.
this mans giggle was infectious.
he just moved to LA from new york.
i asked him where he was born and he told me
pensacola florida.
i'd heard the name, but couldn't begin to guess where on the panhandle
it was located...
he informs me that it's at the top. says sometimes the map leaves it off.
explained that its the only part of florida that people called the south.
that in fact this makes it the deepest deep in the southiest of souths.
oh, florida. my history is pretty slick with it.
my dad being a cuban immigrant, fl ended up being the only state in the
us i would travel to as a child.
it seemed more like a dream then a place.
not so much a good dream...
just a weird dream you cant remember or forget.
the kind deja vu are made off.....
slight familiarity and eerie memories you cant put your finger on. a faint
dream in a dream about another dream.
remembering more about the patterns on my mothers clothes then about the
state altogether.
spooky faintness of the abandoned beach.
the weird womb like texture and color of the sunset against the "altostratus"
clouds.
the ones the look like sheep wool. my mother told me that's what the sky
looks like the night before a bad earthquake.
does florida even get earthquakes?
children don't think like this.
believing her, i spent my nights in the florida hotel room
with its view of the sky,
sleepless. hating florida and its color scheme. the two of em.
the clouds left when the sun came up.
my tight tan 7 year old skin covered in volcano like mosquito bites. fucking
itchy...
but still something to do on the plane.
florida on my mind today, not
georgia...
strange because up until a few days ago, it was just a state i had forgotten
all together.
i looked up pensacola on google maps.
i noticed they offered a street view!!
i dropped in my guy. the things that dwell there are invisible.
its pretty
amazing....
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4.21.09
tuesday!
i woke up at 5:30 this morning, heard a news story about a child molester who got beaten to the poin of irrversble brain damage.
i looked out the window and waited for the sun to rise. the people on the radio argueed over the deffenition of justice. whats wronger. whats worse.
the tips of my fingers are raw.
a true story:
it's saturday, march 14 2009 .
in a small sleepy russian town called meshchovsk. (or was it kaluga?)
olga, a 28 year old salon shop owner was countin up her rubles. its 17:00 (MT)
there were two hairdressers and one client in the salon with her, closing up.
all of a sudden, a gun man enters and tries to take olgas rubles!
olga, who was studying judo and taekwondo,
disabled the robber (viktor) with a smashing body blow.
she carried him to the basement and bound him with a hair dryer cord.
she told her scared co-workers and the client that she was going to call the police and that they should go home.
however!
olga had other plans for this robber.
instead of calling the police, she undressed her K.O.ed guest, force fed him viagra tablers and chained him to the radiator using
what else but
fuzzy pink hand cuffs.
she proceeded to rape the man for three days until his junk was raw and stinging from her vodka like pussy fluids.
she then released him, naked n bleeding, in to the
(possibly) snowy forest.
the frenulum of his penis was torn as a consequence of rape session.
his little red menace.
he filed charges against olga.
“that’s ridiculous. we had sex just a couple times.i brought him brand new jeans. i fed him every day and gave him one
thousand rubles ($25) before
his release,” the hairdresser said.
in response, she filed charges
against the robber.
The robber admitted that the hairdresser really did feed him royally.
lots of sources:
google that shit.
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wat??? the fuck...?
Man Stomps Kittens to Death
4.19.09
12:53ams
A California man faces felony
animal cruelty charges after stomping three kittens to death in a grocery
store parking lot, KSBY KSBY
of San Luis Obispo reports. David Pierce is in Santa Barbara County Jail
on $20,000 bond after witnesses saw him take the animals out of a plastic
bag and stomp on them.
Pierce was unapologetic when the store manager confronted him: "He
more or less just cussed me out and said they were just stupid cats,”
Richard Bjork said. “He obviously had some kind of alcohol
problem because he was always buying vodka."
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4.17.09
9:13pms
gripe morning in the night.
angry rant about the sad state if feminism....
( i reserve the right to exagerate about anything.
please try to not be too delicate while reading .... but feel free to
respond with opinions about it.)whats the matter with ladies today?????
keep flirting with freedom....
see where it gets you.
she wont ever love you like you love her.
look before you sit!
the toilet seat analogy to describe most women obscured views of feminism's.
it seems like after our founding mothers of feminism's opened their eyes,
they for got to remind their daughters to open theirs.
instead of equality, it seems like alot of women got hungry and started
wanting power.
they flaunt their strength and their manish calves
transforming men in to shaking tea cup chiuaua... fragile and shaking.
too scared to hold a door for a lady who, as she may remind you, can open
it her own damn self.
it seems that i need to write a follow up book to DR LAURAS THE PROPER
CARE AND FEEDING OF HUSBANDS.
only mine shall be titled proper care and feeding of house husbands.
does your husband keep leaving the toilet seat up?
maybe instead of complaining about it maybe you should just look before
you sit down to pee.
or better yet, learn to pee standing up. its much more sanitary anyway,
and will leave you feeling powerful. can even make a troff thing out of
an old tall boy can and pretend its a big shiny dick. your very own shiny
dick.
while in a perfect world, i would be treated as an equal and respected
and payed just like man,
{ as long as i would be willing to work just as hard as one. }
but i really don't think you could make the average man look at woman
as anything other then what their very basic biology is telling them a
woman is. something to fuck.
lets get together as women and try not to take that personally. That desire
obviously doesnt stop at just women. so lets not flatter ourselves.
most men would probably fuck tighter things, anyway. like each other.
so just shut the fuck up, and always look at the damn seat before you
sit down.
and go in the kitchen, learn to bake and cook, and look really hot while
doing it.
and secretly plan the destruction capable straight men
{by using that advantage that you have over them
which is the sort of truth in which most men
would throw away their whole lives for just a tap of even the ugliest
ass.}
if your in to that sort of thing.
but what the fuck do we ladies really want?
more shoes?
more reasons to ocmplain?
children?
an affair?
a big slick dick?
a dyke?
a horse!
i think your better off ignoring men (and people) all together if you
are unable to accept EVERYONE how they are and insist they do the same
to you.
i suppose it depends on the person. the man. the woman.
and how open your eyes are.
and ultimately trust nothing because its all after you.but until then,
just suck the dick.
roll it around in your mouth.
let it come in your ass,
and enjoy the BMW, you stupid stupid bitch.
look at this instead.
ripe and saucy from 196o somethings.......
don't say that i never gave you nothin, muffin.
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4.14.09
don't we look excited today?
please look at this today.
click in it to hear some thoughts that have been collected
{using a new laser technology}
{it records the braintestiecular center of the middle of the brain waves as it penetrates the thick tiny tissue of it laserlabian cavity.}
has it recorderd you?
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there is already much too much to think about.
too much to say.
thank you for you, dear.
this is m¥ life.
can't stop..
doing, saying and making. talking. thinking
obsessed.
because its nothing unless i am.
hellolovely...i made this just for you.
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